Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
