She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
