Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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