She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
farters have to be the big spoon...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
