is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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