Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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