I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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