That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
