and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
