Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
