Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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