I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
