I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
