I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
