hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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