some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
