they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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