Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
