Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
operation harelip BJ is a go
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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