I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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