So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
