I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
