so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
