i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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