Already got asked if we're dating
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So vagazzling was a success
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
