May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
