You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
