So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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