OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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