This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
