If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
