me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
