I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Dick very happy bro
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
