youre lurking in front of me
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
