What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
