You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
