Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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