Tell her she can't have a vagina
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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