The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Randomize
