after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize