No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
How naked do you want me to be?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
