Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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