she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
