It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
