the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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