Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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