wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
