you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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