We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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