he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
