a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
