We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
