You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
