I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
