i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
