what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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