exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
