Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I am never drinking with the goths again.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
