Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
