LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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