Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
