come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
