I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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