I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
