We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
