u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
