Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
