I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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