Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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