I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
