saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i think i have two assholes
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
