you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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