it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
